Fact: In the event that a non-pansexual should learn the secrets of The Great Pansexual Conspiracy, it is traditional that they be transformed into an animal through a process known colloquially as ‘pansformation’. Common choices include tigers, ospreys and bearded tits. They are then released into their natural environment, with all evidence of their existence removed from mainstream libraries.
This method has since been replaced with the more practical memory wipe - however, it is believed that at least three major historical figures have been erased from the public record after learning too much.
